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I feel humbled
I feel humbled, by all the good that is happening in my life.

For the record, as I start to type this, there's a few tears coming up in my eyes.

TKD related:

I went to my first ever SIBBA (State of Iowa Black Belt Association) meet today. There, I got to play around with Judo and Tai Chi and some other things. But under all that detail, other stuff, much more meaningful stuff, was happening for me.

- I made friends with a fellow named Alex who goes to my class. He and I one-step-sparred in the morning.. he's a blackbelt, and he's fun (and he's 14 or so.)
- I got to do Judo -- some takedowns, but mostly the pins. My fear of falling is now quantified -- it hurts, but I can do it -- and my fear of groundfighting is a bit lessened. Where there was a big fearful question mark is now quiet understanding. I know that with enough practise and classes, i could hold my own there. The evil bully bogeyman that stood over my shoulders as I was growing up, is starting to dismantle.
- I found a new appreciation for the art of using a sword. I didn't realize it, but I had a practise sword at home all along.. something i'd picked up in Chinatown a few years ago.

After the day's stuff, i went home and showered, and realized.. i needed to spend some quality time with people, i was kinda running low. Well, Audrey and Noumouas were busy, so after reflecting a bit, I went to Minsky's where the post-event Pizza Party was... and...

- I met Master Pak. I heard of him first from my older brother when he took TKD in the mid-to-late 1980's from Master Pak. And Master Pak remembered my brother! There was a moment of confusion as there was a second "Raj" who came later, but Master Pak remembered the difference. Like, wow. All of a sudden, i was the younger brother of an already established member of the crowd (or something like that).

- I met a family ... kids: Rex, Tim, Marcie, Luke; parents: Terry(?) and _____(?) -- almost all of whom are in my (dojang)(?)(school). How do I say this.. the father is from Sri Lanka. The mother is caucasian. And their kids are amazingly beautiful. And a little fear that I had inside me.. something like "what if I marry a non-indian person? what will that be like, what will my children be like" ... that fear disappered.

- I made some more friends. The abovementioned kids.. and Ujong(?), who is of Indian descent.

- I got to see this new community that I was starting to get introduced to.. together. They are such beautiful people. Honorable, powerful, respectful, kind, laughing people. They are the kind of people I want to be. This is totally where I want my life to go.. to be around such people. To be such a person. Bring it on, God.

- just a side note: Women in the martial arts are, well, amazing. For all of the above reasons and many more. You _are_ the essense of the kinds of people I'm attracted to, at an emotional, physical, and intellectual level. Thank you, amazing people.

(end TKD stuff).

After all that, I decided to show up at my church for the Auction they were having.

I spent more money than I thought I would. I don't regret it a bit. I bought stuff like:
- Dinner for two at the Kienhart's, where Fritz (the dad) will be cooking a 6-course asian fusion dinner (he's a master chef).
- Dinner at the Greenwald's (Reggie, local musician), where we'll be doing a singalong with instruments.
- A very-loved plant from the old bookstore.
- Some nice CD's (best of Tommy Dorsey, etc).
- A Pink Pig, Petunia, made out of a modified Propane tank. She's kinda cute. I know the artist.

Darci and Zachary were there.. and .. omg! they are so beautiful together. I about cried when they won the "wedding service" auction item. (i'm crying now) .. they are probably going to be the first couple to be married in our new church building, and I can think of nobody else i'd rather see that honor go to. They are going to have such a beautiful life together (they are both so level headed), and their kids are, well, ... i have not the words. They are both going to be amazing parents.. i've seen both of them with kids.

So.. yeah. All in all.. my life is amazingly cool. I'm looking forward to the possible places my future can go.. as I kinda watch with my breath taken away as the Universe comes in and puts right one thing after another.. taking away one fear after another.. giving me new perspectives, one after another..

Thank you, Universe.


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