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Pretty awesome day

I had forgotten how wonderful babies smell. Arjun is 10 months.. prolly 1 week away from walking on his own, he's SO CLOSE and SO EXCITED.

Once again.. its amazing how much people miss. we were at the park.. and, like, I'm TOTALLY aware that Arjun is like, "Hey, i want some water to splash or something fun to touch, these clothes are buggin me". I grab the water bottle.. and Grandma (my mom, in this case) is like, "that's too big for him!".. i'm like, "Chill!", and pour a little puddle. He's like, "DOOD WET STUFF" and like splishes it with his hand and stuff.

And then.. just following the tyke around. I don't say much, i don't give him the babytalk (unless we're looking at each other with baby smiles, you know how that is)... and he is SO aware of his surroundings. The feel of the screwhead that's burried in the wood of the doorstep.. the cold air coming from the vent (ooh, that felt good, for him)... the neat smells coming from people's shoes... I guess hanging with Cats has perhaps made me sensitive to paying attention? The whole time, i'm hanging out around him.. just kinda there. I didn't have anything else to do, which is why i could spend the time.

My step-sibling and her fam are awesome. They are doing the kinds of things with their family that I hope to possibly be like with mine, were that to occur. I personally doubt that any body would want to be stuck with a loser like me, but hey, i know that's negative thinking, which does not necessarily reflect reality.

The boys and I .. that's interesting. I've hung out with little girls a lot, i have a feel for how they go about some things. I have not hung out with little boys a lot.. OMG! totally different! VERY physical, lots of hitting each other.. is that normal for boys? Sometimes, i feel i was a little girl born in a guy's body and given guy hormones. Well, i'm not going to change their attitudes to each other, but when they started pelting me with {i forget what}, i put down my boundary: "Guys.. stop. STOP." I withdrew from play. they stopped and looked at me. Very level headed, I laid down the boundary: "It is not okay to hit me with that." "Why?" "That is not a why question. If I say its not okay, then its not. Okay?"

so cool. They were totally respectful of it. We continued play.

This thing is going to disconnect me if I don't post soon (NetZero?) ... so i better post this.

I'm glad I made this trip.

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Cool. Related to what you said in my journal, I'd say you'd make a good dad. You seem to understand kids better than most adults do.

The one and only time in my life (just before I met Rebecca) that I dated someone with a child, I bonded with the kid and not the mom. I think she resented me because I knew how to make her kid laugh and she didn't. 'Sounds like you have the same ability (er... bonding with kids, not pissing off their moms).

I had a similar experience with my former nephews (during my first marriage) as you had with those boys. They liked to wrestle, which was cool, but to them wrestling meant kicking and hitting, too. I would always stop wrestling them when they started that junk. They liked to throw Matchbox cars at me, too, which I quickly put an end to. I dunno. When I was a boy, I played with a lot of boys in the neighborhood and we didn't hit each other all the time. What's up with that?

might be something with the latent "stretchyness" going on in our society these days. Ever hear of the... its not the GDP.. but the Gross..domestic..indicator? {which subtracts the cost of crime, etc etc..} .. although GDP has been rising, GDI has steadily declined since the '70's. Ie, society is becoming more and more unrestful as basic "humanity" is being squished out. In those guy's cases, they blame it on consumerism.

Oh boy. i gotta go. later.

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