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I ran again (Who Am I)

The Last time I really ran was December of last year.


Insert story here about physical therapy, knee, IT band, core muscles, shoulder muscles being out of whack, reluctance to run, skipping the triple crown that I had registered for...

Especially mention have tons of friends ask me how my running is going (and feeling ashamed of it not happening)...

Wondering when I see a runner on a road.. do I feel envy as I once did? Many of them, their faces screwed up in misery and pain.

Who am I as a runner? Am I a 30 minute 5k, or a 26 minute 5k? Will I ever be a 23? will I be a 26.1? So much looking forward, pressure on myself.. self definition.


I ran today. Up to the church and back, just over 2-ish miles. In something minutes, plus or minus 5.

I enjoyed 95% of it.

Nothing really hurts. My feet sting a little -- I ran barefoot. Which means I had to run slowly, and pay a LOT of attention to how I was landing. It was a complete joy to cut into people's yards and feel cold squishy grass under my feet, and smooth concrete of driveways.. fresh asphalt was good too, but old asphalt was prickly.

The 5% i did not enjoy is when I put my Vibram Bikila's on. I could no longer feel the road, I started landing much harder, and I noticed it in my vision - every time I landed, the whole world "shuddered" as though my eyeballs were shuddering. So they came back off. This was at about the turn-around point.


I was inspired to go run by a coworker who posted a link to the Louisville Color Run. Surely I can do that.. the point of that one is to get splatted with color.. similar to Holi, the festival of color, which I never ever got to experience (was never in India). (But i heard about it, a lot. It was one of the things I feel I missed out on.)

Its in July. That's two months from now. So back into running un-shoes I go..

Sierra Leone, 1978

2nd Grade or 1st Grade.
There's a race.
I run the race.
I come in dead last.
I'm pissed off.
Walking home, I ask somebody if we can have a little private race.
I give it my best best best shot
I cannot beat him.
If I can't beat them, why play?
I release the path of being physically active and doing sports.

Two years ago

I start running.
I'm not sure I can even do it.
I do it.
I get faster.
How fast can I go?
I push myself.
Best was 25:56 for a 5K, i forget if it was Anthem'11 or Weathermen'10.
I Have to do better
I injure myself in fall 13.1 2011.
I try to recover for the January season.
See the backstory above.

Who Am I?

I can't try to define myself by how good I am, because that leaves me open to what I am not.

Here's what I can say:

I am easily a 33 minute 5k runner, 10-11 minutes/mile.
I am easily a 5-8 mile runner.

With lots of effort and training, I can be a 9:00 or 8:45 m/m runner, I could get up to mini-marathon lengths.
But I'm not doing that right now.

What Am I Going to Do?

Possible choice #1: No matter what, enjoy the run.
Possible choice #2: Don't go fast. I cannot outrun my ego, so I'm not going to test it.
Possible choice #3: Love on everybody and be happy to be there.

I think I can LIVE! with this. (LIVE! and let live.)

I will give it a shot.


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