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Hanging up the Running Shoes
For now, I am done with running. 


Whoa doggy, hold on.  It feels like the right thing to do.  Horse before the cart, that kind of thing.   Here's why: 

- when I stopped running after the Half-Marathon last May, I started bicycle riding training for RAGBRAI. 
- Definitely grew me some hamstring musles. 
- Did not grow me any flexibility, did not work on any core muscles. 
- After RAGBRAI, building up to run the Half Marathon in November, barely did any training. 
- After the Half Marathon in November, injured something in my left knee. 

CANCEL - race in early december
CANCEL - race on Jan 1st. 

Well, that injury is turning out to be a lot to do with IT-bland flexibility, and Hamstring flexibility.  And while that is slowly improving, work stuff has been crazy .. I've been holding a LOT of tension in my back.. to the point where my left Supraspinatus (?) pretty much blew out.. could not lift my left arm in front of myself.  Not so good... 

CANCEL - race on Jan 7th. 

Wife notes:  Maybe my body is trying to tell me something? 

We were sitting at Chick-Fil-A one fine Saturday morning (yesterday), and I said:  I think I'm going to give up running for now.  And I started crying..  tears of relief?? 

So, it seems I have been pushing myself hard.  REALLY hard.  Like, nothing that I do matters, I have to do more.   As we went back to the car, and I saw the 13.1 sticker on my car, i realized .. oh my god, I DID do that.   I brain-knew it, but i had not emotion-accepted it.    

So, at this point, i'm pretty much cancelling everything going on in my life.. going back to the empty plate, so that the *right* pieces that are right for me right now can go back on the plate. 

CANCEL - remaining race of Polar bear grand prix
CANCEL - Triple crown of running (anybody want my entry)
CANCEL - KDF Half Marathon (I don't think i had registered)

I'm pretty sure that prior to picking up running again (in the future), there are other things I need to deal with: 
a) diabetes
     includes:  pills, bloodwork, carb counting, nutrition
b) sense of order, sleep;  meditation, journalling, getting square with myself and with God/HP
c) finances, time management - changing from eating out all the time to coming home, and M+I cooking at home. 
d) recovery meetings - I've been skimping for a year. 

Then, before I actually do running, listening to what my PT told me - I need to: 
e) Swim   (core muscles)
f) Yoga (restore flexibility)
g) Strength train (possibly) 

So far, this week, i'm still struggling with a, b, c, and d.  Not even going to try to add back e-g), let alone running. 

As I type this, I can feel my knee just not being right .. its like the whole left side of my body has shrunk and shrivelled up.  Calves, Hamstrings, Left button, Left shoulder, Left side of my neck.   Its frigging annoying.  

Anyhoo. That's where I am.  Thanks for listening folks.