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B&N Blues
running
sunnywiz
I went to Barnes & Noble to get a book for our stay in Cincinnati this
weekend.  After about an hour of searching, didn't find squat, left.
Depressed.

I became aware of being depressed as I walked around the store.  They
didn't have the book I was going to get (#2 in the Dresden series), but
trying to find anything else..

American History -> 9/11

Saw a book on 9/11 and the mystery plane.  Brought to mind the whole
controversy around "what really happened" .. I do not know whom to
believe.  I accept that the whole thing could be fabricated/self
inflicted.   It makes sense in the stark way that our world is screwed
up.

American History -> Civil War.

Having listened to several conversations at a dinner table between
various Civil War buffs (including a dude whose family is strong with
the Conferederacy), realized I know very little about what happened
during the Civil War.  Looking at the books, realized there's no way I
can really know other than listening to other people's OPINIONS about
what happened - via their books.  The truth - I was not there, I did not
experience it, therefore I do not know.

Thereby, all of History -> how much is real?   It's all opinions in some
shape or another.. collective consciousnesses.

Fine, go on to Humor

Bunch of made up situations with made up characters pointing out the
irony of the world.

Ok. On to Health/Fitness/Food.

Diet cookbook ... author's opinion is Fat is ok, Sugar is not.  I don't
know, I want to believe that but for right now, they are both on my
shitlist.

Science Fiction

A bunch of stories involving characters whom I would have to invest
myself in, and then ride a ride with them, and then goodbye it is.   No
thanks.

Martial Arts

Heck, I have plenty to practice. Don't need any more.  NEXT.

Music

Bunch of folks selling their shit to record companies who try to sell it
to the mass populous as entertainment. I'd rather listen to TPN:Rock
where I hear really good bands directly, no middle man.

So.. yah, I'm depressed.  I think its about the change in my life.. food
changes, anyway.

What can I focus on? What's in my control, my sphere of influence?

- Get lots of sleep
- Cincinnati tournament = SOCCER SOCCER SOCCER
- I ran 30 minutes yesterday, on a treadmill, and I could still sprint
at the end.  Saturday, lets go for 45 minutes.  Then 60.  After 60, I'll
start upping the speed as going longer is problematic.
- Lots of time to learn patterns and WPF and stuff like that at Work..
currently not slated to do anything other than training (both self and
other)
- Did I say lots of sleep?

So, yeah, I'm depressed -- and that's okay. Its like, if I were a snake,
I might say I'm molting, or if I were a cat, I'd say that my fur coat is
shedding.  Natural response to change.   Dang I want to eat.  Crap.
Carrots.

Kick some ass.. bring on the weekend.
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