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Saga of Wedding Clothes
running
sunnywiz
I was trying to figure out how to update a bunch of people ... and figured, hey, I can put it in my journal. I have to give a bit of backstory here, but here goes.



Starts out with M & I trying to figure out what our wedding would be like. On the subject of clothes, a few things were for sure:
1. NO JEANS! this has to do with a friend's wedding where the father of the bride showed up in jeans, and about moved M to tears.
2. No fancy stuff like tuxes and big white wedding dresses. M has already done that, and both of us tend to simplicity.

From there, we started to check out "what if we did something Indian"? Not like traditional indian wedding garb, which is complicated in its own right, but something that "looks good", yet it would be different enough that for most of the folks at the ceremony/reception, would think of it as being neat and interesting (and matching of our personalities).

Note here: I think in May, my friend keelyvh asked that if we did anything with going to Chicago, she wanted to be a part of it. *sad* we didn't manage this very well. (She's a very accomplished seamstress who does wedding garb for renaissance festivals and interesting stuff like that.)

We checked out various sites, and we settled on one, I think in June or so, SalwaarKameezIndia.com. We postponed on when we were going to order the clothes for various reasons to August.

We ordered the clothes in August.. and...


  • 2 weeks later, asking for an update, when are they going to ship them? "We'll check and get back to you"
  • 3 weeks later, more forcefully asking for an update - no answer. At this point, we start investigating them further.. and things start to look a bit suspicious. (Turns out, we were wrong, they are legitimate)
  • We start to make alternate plans. This is when Chicago/Devon Ave came into the picture. Colleagues from work who are reading this would recognize this moment in the story, as I had to take time off to make it happen)
  • Checked in with KeelyVh in Cedar rapids, and yes, she would be able to help us out with tailoring if needs be.


What happened next was truly amazing -

First, a bunch of folks at work started to cook plans - on how they could order things from India, ship them back with people coming into town, and even have space/time to send stuff back to India to get it corrected and brought back in time. Thank you Srinivas if you see this.

Second, M ran into a friend of hers, Liz, who has a friend who actually owns one of the clothing stores on Devon Ave. Turns out, its Ramadan, and there are not a lot of tailors around right now, so if we went, we'd have to find something ready-made, custom-making something would probably not happen.

Third, the place in India actually got back to us. Our package had already shipped, and they gave me a tracking number.

~~~~~ (intermission): United Soccer Tournament in Louisville - we won our bracket. Looks like the next tournament, we might be pushed up to the "A" team - which includes the Thoroughbreds A team and Javanon? wow.

Monday, we got the package. And.. the Groom's outfit is perfect. But, the Bride's outfit is not. Its like they used the wrong pattern entirely. The sleeves are wrong, and the pants are definitely wrong. Ouch! No problem. Alternate plan: rework the outfit, replace the sleeves and do a different bottom.

Tuesday, the day I took off from work --

We started out by going to Baer's Fabric in downtown Louisville to match fabrics (3 floors of fabric-choosin' goodness). Sure enough, we found the fabric that matched the outfit to do some alterations with. However.. this is when M started to realize some things -
- there were stains in the fabric in the one she got from India
- the complexity of making all the alterations started to set in.. and even then, it wouldn't really match what she had in her mind.
- there were some tough emotional moments in there.
- So, plan B: A suite for her.. have I mentioned that her mom and grandmother all got married in suites?

For Plan B, we visited the two malls - Oxmoor and the Mall (silly names), and we checked out pretty much every store there. Lots of walking. And we came up with: one dress and whatever-the-top-is-called, but .. not the right sizes. That's all, that's it. Nobody makes Cream colored stuff anymore, and almost nobody makes dresses anymore, seems like.

At this point, things are looking pretty bleak. We've also realized by this point that a) we don't want to put anybody out with anything really complicated, b) we might after all be wearing burlap sacks at the wedding, and c) life sucks at the moment.

~~~~~ intermission #2. Should mention that Cafe360 in highlands, while kind of a dive joint/bar, has the best Chole-Bhature that I've had in town. I've been told their Biryani is also very good.

We head over to mother-in-law's house to pick Quinn up (she was kind enough to get him from school), and while there, ... they talked about the situation. And one thing to note about M-i-L: she's made her own suites and clothing by hand for like 20+ years. There were some breakdowns and some tears, and coming out of all that, a plan seems to have arrived:

At this moment, the plan is -- M + her mom are going to go to Baer's on Friday and check out fabric and patterns, and M-i-L is going to custom make it for her, with M looking over her shoulder altering things as they go, so it matches what she has in her mind. She's going to end up with something that matches what I'll be wearing, but won't necessarily be "Indian" (which is fine by me -- as long as the focus is on the ceremony and our vows and not what we wear, that's good with me).

So.. my apologies, Kathy, for not calling you in person on this. Actually scratch that, I'm calling you now. :) (Done!) (We originally didn't want to involve M-i-L because she has a local party to plan, but she volunteered, so ... we accepted). At this point, M-i-L is committed to helping M out, and they're going to do a mother-daughter project on it, which I think is wonderful, and for the moment, I'm now out of the direct loop.

M later told me, as we were shopping, I had a kind of deer-in-headlights look. Trying to be supportive, not sure how to do that, etc.

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The stress of planning wedding details SUCKS, doesn't it!? At least in my experience. Perhaps one of the most un-fun things I've ever done. It WILL drive people to tears, so don't even feel awkward about that. It sounds like you're hanging in there and doing a fine job.

And on the day you two are standing together, looking into each other's eyes as a new married couple, surrounded by friends and family who love you, all the trials and planning BS that it took to get there suddenly doesn't matter much. It's all good.

I secretly dream of being a wedding planner. I think it would be so fun. I am an organizational freak :) I am so gay.

I'm so glad to hear that it all turned out for you. Now I have time to make my Drendl! *bounces around*

Wow, I'm glad things are coming together for you after all of that. When you look back at all of this, you will probably laugh at what you can remember.

Isn't it amazing how much planning goes into one, single, life-changing event? The day itself goes by so fast, but you will always remember the love of each other and your friends and family being there to share it with you. :)

It took me a while to figure out what "suite" meant. ;)

I had some trouble finding something to wear for my wedding, and I still didn't get exactly what I wanted - but I didn't go through as much hassle as this! What a headache! I'm glad you are finally getting it all straightened out.

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