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Spanglish and Beautiful Women
Started to watch Spanglish tonight.. its due back tomorrow.. I think I got about 20 minutes in before I was totally bawling and couldn't continue.

Not because the movie was so moving. Just more because I don't let my emotions out much, especially not the .. heck, i have no words for them.. the softer ones? .. and watching that movie, oh my god, those women are SO BEAUTIFUL. Not in terms of breasts, but more in terms of dreams, and joy, and laughter, and life. Life is so beautiful. To witness somebody's life is also a thing of complete beauty. And to that, I cry, tears of joy and gladness and feeling.

I wrote something to somebody today. I'll put excerpts in here:

Hey kiddo,

Just to let you know.. last time i hung out with mom, I gave her permission to look for someone for me. Not arranged marriage, but more like arranged meeting. Well, she let me know she has like 35 responses sitting on her desk, and she hit me up for pictures to send to them. So.. i sent her the same ones I sent to you. I am so totally scared.

Would it be too wierd to tell you about that end of things?

I'm figuring.. i'm trying to figure out how to let God run this show. And near as I can tell, right now, my answer is this:

- my goal is to let people come close to me, ... to cultivate friend-girls. Like you, A, and bunches of other beautiful women in my life...
- and its God's deal to take it from that to a girlfriend.

otherwise, i'm always wrestling with trying to define what the heck is going on, is it appropriate, am I going too far, am I being too suggestive, am I not being suggestive enough, and of course, the ultimate question for a guy: Am i going to get laid and can I get away with it. GAH. Its easier to be single and a hermit.

My request to God continues to be: "God, I invite female divine into my life -- and I request a partnership that is compatible in the ways that only you can arrange. Please help me grow into this." OMG, it is so scary to say those things out loud. In my experience, once spoken from the depths of one's heart, God is very quick to act. Ed Note: and, its often in wierd and challenging ways.

So.. hey, whatever. Its going to be interesting, whatever it is.

Been having good days; look forward to many more of the same.. thank you God for this easy, challenging, fun life, and all the wonderful people who are a part of my life..

your happy child,

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I loved the movie Spanglish :)

This is a perfectly reasonable request. I've got a few buddies that need to come to this kind of understanding instead of blindly chasing after unattainable females or hiding in their basements playing video games! You put it so succinctly!

:] Thank you dearie!
i've come a long way.

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