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WTF... done?
shillouette
sunnywiz
I am now home alone.. the lady and the kid are out on the town somewhere. Last I heard Office Max...

I just got home after 10 hours in the office.. we got the last build in, all the TPR's (defects) are now out of development's court... today was a 15 hour day including the time spent from midnight till 5am.

I don't even remember the week.

So.. I went browsing the job sites. Its tough, looking at all those jobs out there.. and like.. which one would/could/should I apply for? All employers have crap moments. Is someone else going to be any different?

Rather than looking at it as a "hey maybe this other one will be better", which is actually fear/negativity based ("run away from this one"), what other ways could I look at it? What feeds my soul?

1. I like helping people learn who want to learn.
2. I like learning in a non-rushed, take my time learning, natural curiousity kind of way.
3. I like hanging with fellow geeks.
4. I enjoy C#, Test Driven Development, the .Net framework.
5. I enjoy building tools and libraries.
6. I dislike building UI's.
7. I like working with realistic people.

And realistically:
8. I need to be able to commute in and out of work in under half an hour.
9. I need to make enough $ at work to support my family.

One nice thing from all this is -- I have discovered in myself that if I make something the priority, then I've made it the priority, and I can work it diligently. That being said, I cannot make work the priority all the time. Not even most of the time. Not even half the time. Not when that gift is, well, eaten up and chewed up by the machine.

*pain*

Well, at this job, here's what I can reasonably expect:

a) there are several people who are learning TDD and other such cool things. Some of them are learning the hard way. The thing is though, they pretty much do their own thing, and then we get together and go hey that must have been good. I don't get to learn with them, i don't get to show anybody the cool shit that I do until it moves on to the next release. Not as much stuff on the sharing the keyboard.

b) The only way I get to learn is if I do it offline. This release, I had to learn how to call a WSE/cert enabled web service in like under an hour. I couldn't have done it if Chris Staley and I didn't sit down together and do it together. That sitting down together even fulfilled (a) above. I have to listen to podcasts to keep my inner geek fed, because work sure isn't doing it for me.

c) I do enjoy my fellow geeks at my current workplace.

d) I get to do C#, and TDD, and actually design a lot of stuff at my current workplace.

e) I get to build tools and libraries at my current workplace.

f) I get to stay away from UI's (except for some batch jobs which take command line parameters and spew out some text), at my current workplace.

g) I work with some very good realistic people (my boss, and my boss's boss). I think triple-boss is also growing on me, he has a very hard job to do.

h) The commute is great.

i) The pay is mediocre/ok (at least compared to UGS).

So..
I shall continue to deprogram myself. I believe I have a nice movie to watch...

Spirit/Universe - i turn it over to you. What would you have me do, that would fulfill me as well as fulfill your purposes? Please guide me in my career and job. I trust that my intuition will sparkle and beckon. Thank you God.

PS: I'm burning a dvd of Robot Chicken that I tivo'ed for my buddy Patrick. I haven't burnt video in quite a while.. first pass hit techincal difficulties, this is now try #2. GEEKOUT!
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"You are not here merely to make a living.
You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement.
You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand." - Woodrow Wilson

Not that I think you need to be reminded of this but I thought it was appropriate to your situation. :-) (still haven't figured out how to add my Sunshine pic!)

Thanks :)

I'm still kinda reeling.. feeling very lost.

Today i took care of stuff around the house till noon, then went in.




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