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Dangit, what is up with me? I went to a meeting, and... i left grumpier than when I got there! doesn't often happen.

Actually, i know what's up with me. I'm tired, and i wanna go home, and my back was hurting, and I feel that I ought to be working because I really really really want this project to be a success, and I'm angry at myself for wanting to work when its OBVIOUSLY eveningtime which is supposed to be time for me...

And i'm feeling lonely. ... {to which my mind immediately barks out: You're not alone blah blah blah blah blah} *BANG*. No, dumbshit, I said, I *FEEL* lonely.

Mom sent me a revised biodata. ... it all seems quite pointless, actually. I sent her an email back saying, hey please put on hold for now.

Okay. i'm going to dwell in the problem for... 10 minutes. *starts dwelling*

(1 minute later)

Ah. I see. I'm not taking care of myself. For me to take care of myself now, I need to a) drink water, b) wrap up in a blankie, c) journal and cry, d) clear the way for a productive tomorrow, e) send love to all my friends ESPECIALLY those who are in relationships that are like what i'd like to have, f) shut this computer down.

*thinking about the people I love*
*naming them one by one, saying I love you*

good vibe. yep.

Gnight all

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Hey hun. Hope tomorrow goes smotthly for you. Just remember that everything is happening just how it's supposed to happen. Everything will work out okay. :)

Keep doing your best! *hug*

Am I one of those people with a relationship like you'd like to have? Just curious.

Sorry that the trip is proving to be such an ordeal for you. *hug*

Oh hey, I forgot to mention...I'm going to be in Iowa next week. Will you be back yet?

*hugs* How soon do you get to come home? I can identify with you, about it being hard to be away from home for any length of time. Home is my "safe place" or my haven, where I go to relax and be me.

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